Not Crashing Through Life

I went for a jog this morning. Wasn't sure I wanted to go, but I wanted to have run, wanted to feel like a runner again. The only way to do that is to get out on the street. Buying running stuff won't do it. Only moving my body and raising my heartrate will have me feeling like a runner.

I jogged to the corner where a four-way stop didn't slow a young driver doing forty miles an hour. I was young too once and drove at least as recklessly, but now I know there's not enough joy in rushing. Slow down, I wished at them. Don't get hurt.

I jogged on and, two blocks later, an older couple sped past me. Again I wished, slow down, and then heard them crash into another car.

For a moment, I considered going on, but ran back to the scene. The couple were getting shakily out of the car, both airbags having gone off, the engine smoking. The driver asked, did you see her pull out in front of us? I suggested he sit, but he said he was alright. Not wanting to get into who was at fault, I checked on the other driver as she tried to call someone.

She was crying but seemed uninjured. Her mother wasn't answering. It's okay, I told her. She called her father and, when he answered, she broke down. I named the intersection for her, then others there to help and a fire truck arriving, I proceeded on my jog.

I couldn't keep my heartrate down. That had nothing to do with the accident but had me thinking slow down, be thoughtful. My heartrate was up because I've been eating carelessly, drinking too much alcohol, not moving my body. Slow down, think things through.

I've now jogged two miles, shaved, showered, typed and edited these words. I tried to help people in distress, myself included. I feel like a runner and like a writer. I'm not blindly flying through stop signs, speeding through life, turning carelessly, crashing into others.

I'm grateful for the speeding drivers. They've helped me slow down and be just that much more present to my life, who I am, and who I want to be.