A Gentle Bell

This morning I set a timer for thirty seconds to close my eyes and concentrate on the breath. Thirty seconds is as much of that as I felt I could do. I closed my eyes, tried not to think or analyze. At thirty seconds, the phone rudely returned me with shrill beeping.

There has to be a better way.

I tried the other tones on the phone but none sounded calming. I needed a Zen bell, something gentle enough that I carry back into the world some sense of presence.

It took fifteen minutes searching online to find the right sound freely and anonymously downloadable. I found a recording of a "lovely meditation bell" in Big Sur, California and downloaded it to the phone. A moment later I had it set as the timer's sound.

I asked the phone for thirty seconds and focused again on the breath, trying not to project ahead to the ending sound and whether I had succeeded or failed. It was a challenge. It always is. But when the bell sounded a soft, deep tone, I smiled and kept my eyes closed, gently letting go the satisfaction.

I don't know how much longer I stayed with the breath. I was kind of done measuring things.