Say It Again, Sam

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I've probably published thoughts like this before, but I need to hear good ideas over and over before they sink in. Then, a few years later, I need to be reminded. Maybe you do too.

I still start every day writing three Morning Pages by hand. Sometimes the pages are pep talks or therapy sessions and feel like wasted time, especially when I go weeks on the same old ruminations rather than producing things to send out into the world. I worry I'm being self-indulgent and beating herds of dead horses. What's the point of writing it all down again and again?

Well, the point is writing it down again, telling it in a slightly different in order to make sense of it.

For almost two months I've been writing about my health and weight almost every morning. None of those pages have any place out in the world. Reading them would probably be as exciting as circling the drain. They're not useful for me to reread.

Which gets me anxious as I'm writing them.

I'm lucky though. I've done Morning Pages long enough to know it's okay. I'm working through something. I'll figure it out and move on. Eventually.

As always in writing (and in living too?) the answer is to keep writing and trust that words written one after another always move me to new understanding. It would be nice if things moved faster — I've gnawed on one topic for almost two months — but this is how it works for me. I trust the process.

Tomorrow morning I'll get up and write three Morning Pages by hand. They may be about my health and weight. I don't know. But whatever happens, I'll just keep writing.