Yesterday, I looked back at Morning Pages I wrote in 2016, back when I felt trapped in a terrible, punishing job and lost in my life. A lot has changed in five years.

Then I got thinking about the paper on which I was writing. It's a page I designed in a word processor, lines I print on the backs of used paper. The design has changed a bunch since 2016 and I continue to tweak and refine it.

The page design in 2016 was good. Refinements have made it better. I expect more changes because I need to keep going toward better.

This reminds me of walking the path toward enlightenment, something I've no expectation of achieving. Still, I walk the path because movement feels good. Looking back at my 2016 writing, maybe I'm just that much closer to enlightenment, some small sprout of it growing within me.

These last five years haven't been easy, but they haven't been all that difficult either. Walking a path is just one step and then another, one day and then another. I'm not trying to minimize what I've accomplished. I'm just trying for some perspective. Mostly it has been a matter of simply accepting of what is, being open to what might be, and trying to stay mindful of my choices.

In 2016, I resisted, closed myself, and thought I had no choices. The world was against me. I see now that I had locked my own cage and had the key in my pocket. Turns out that the way to change my world is mostly a matter of changing myself. Make one choice, then another, wake up tomorrow, and do it again.

In five years, I'll look back at this morning's pages and feel changed. Even the lined page will be different. I'll have chosen to keep refining. I'll be that much farther down the path. Though it's difficult to imagine being much happier than I am now.