This Shouldn't Be Difficult

I'm wearing an old orange sweater with blue stripes and worrying about it. I haven't worn it all winter as it has been buried under other clothes on a closet shelf. Last week, working on minimalism, I pulled the clothes down and each day have worn something from there to see if it's worth keeping. I eliminated one sweater without even trying it on and kept two others right away. Today, however, I'm stuck in a ridiculous quandary over this sweater. I've been thinking for hours about keeping or discarding it. Like I have nothing better to do.

The sweater is comfortable though a bit baggy and long. The cuffs are not elastic, so I can't push the sleeves up as I like. Obviously it should go into the bag of clothes to donate. Problem solved. Except...

Except for "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

To get rid of a sweater I bought, especially if it's still of use, is not at all frugal. Sure, it's not perfect, but it's not bad and it works. Getting rid of it would be such a waste.

This is the fine line between minimalism and frugality, not at all unlike the quandary in Spinal Tap:

David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...
Nigel Tufnel: Clever.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah, and clever.

I'm in this mess because I pulled down a pile of clothing, things I haven't worn in a year and found I've got too much stuff. Even without this one I have too many sweaters. This isn't a difficult decision. Come on already.

I'll put it in the donation bag and I'll feel some regret, not for any sentimental attachment to the sweater but for a sentiment about making do and using things until they wear out. But mostly I think I'm trying to escape a mistake.

I bought the sweater and other clothes when I already had too much clothing. That was a mistake and it won't erase the mistake if I make another by hanging onto something I don't need. It will just be a burden.

This shouldn't be that difficult but it is for me. There is so much stuff weighing me down right now. Some of those things are things I've bought that I haven't needed and which I don't use. More of it is the job I'm quitting and questions I have about what comes next. Too much clothing, too much depression, too much anxiety. I need to let some things go and a sweater is an easy place to start.

It may be that I'm assigning more importance to keeping the sweater than it deserves. In all the confusion about my present and future, it's sometimes easier to obsess over an old orange sweater with blue stripes than apply for jobs, write a book, or figure out finances. I can (eventually) make a decision, donate it, and move on to the next piece of clothing.

Maybe other things can be settled so easily.

Rules For Tools - Wendell Berry

I'm thinking again about tools as I read of Apple and Samsung releasing new products. I spent an hour this afternoon typing on a 1938 Corona Sterling which is still the most beautiful and wondrous machine I've ever seen. All this has me thinking of Wendell Berry's rules for new tools which, rather than summarizing, I quote here in full:

1. The new tool should be cheaper than the one it replaces.
2. It should be at least as small in scale as the one it replaces.
3. It should do work that is clearly and demonstrably better than the one it replaces.
4. It should use less energy than the one it replaces.
5. If possible, it should use some form of solar energy, such as that of the body.
6. It should be repairable by a person of ordinary intelligence, provided that he or she has the necessary tools.
7. It should be purchasable and repairable as near to home as possible.
8. It should come from a small, privately-owned shop or store that will take it back for maintenance or repair.
9. It should not replace or disrupt anything good that already exists, and this includes family and community relationships.

If I live my life by those rules, I'm living well.

Talking Mostly To Myself

I often worry that it seems I'm preaching here. That or trying to prove how wonderful I am. Preaching turns me off to Twitter and people being wonderful is reason enough to leave Facebook. These aren't things I want to be doing in my writing so sometimes I end posts by saying I'm mostly telling myself whatever the post was about. One way I learn is by repeating things to myself until I believe.

Many times I recount experiences I've had or that someone else described to me. This doesn't mean I'm perfect (ha!) or the other person is some kind of guru. It's just that I found whatever happened interesting and want to share. It's that way with phones this week.

I'm reading Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism which is good. I would say it's great, but I've read a lot on this subject before. I imagine it would be an eye-opener for anyone who hasn't been thinking about distractions and focus as much as I have. Reading the book does have me changing things on my phone and the ways in which I use (or don't use) it.

Last night I set the phone to go grey-scale and block all notifications and calls from 8 pm until 7 am. I also set time limits (through an Android app called Digital Wellbeing. I'm trying to make my smartphone dumb and uninteresting. The effects so far have been encouraging.

According to Digital Wellbeing, I use my phone for about an hour and a quarter each day. That's a start but is still disconcerting because I'm losing over an hour to it every day. That's time I could write, enjoy my family, walk, or run. I'd like to get phone use down to half an hour or so. I'll keep at it.

I'm also leaving the phone at home when I go out with family. They each have phones should we need them, but not having mine keeps me from looking at it and in the midst of my loves. Why check email when I've got my daughters and wife right there? I mean, duh.

I'm an amateur at this and there's no telling how long I'll stay with it. The master is: my friend Jerry. I emailed him about getting together at the Carrier Dome for a basketball game. I included a link to a map and told him if he had trouble finding where to park, he could give me a call. He became my hero by saying:

"Much obliged for the map, which I'll use. I don't carry a phone, so hooking-up will be clunky." (emphasis mine)

He did have trouble parking but asked people and got where he needed to be. Watching the first half, I scanned the seats and there he was. At halftime I walked around to where he was coming up the aisle. There was nothing clunky about our embrace. We talked for fifteen minutes and neither of us looked at our phones. We were too busy being together.

Again, I'm writing this down so I remember that a phone is just a tool, not the centerpiece of my living. Do with that information as you will.

Permission, Uncertainty & Solitude

My first message today was from Paul Jarvis. You'd be wise to subscribe to his weekly essays which are brief and useful for creative and independent people. His latest is about doing things on our own without seeking permission. The key line is this:

We've traded gatekeepers for gurus, and continue to seek permission and guidance to do what we want to do with our work.

Instead, we should ask the following questions:

• Did we create something that other people want to buy from us?
• Do those same people want to keep buying or can we find new people to also buy from us?

I replace "buy" with "read" but it's the same thing and gets at an idea I have about Twitter.

I got off Twitter last summer but went back on in January to promote my writing. The account hasn't taken off. I don't take the time to curate and promote it. I've been advised to build an audience. Twitter seemed one way to do that, but I'm unwilling to devote the effort to it.

I need to put the effort into learning how to write better. I don't have enough energy to do both.

The second message, from Leo Babauta, entitled The Deep Uncertainty Of Meaningful Work tells of a man wanting to embark on a big project, "But he kept putting off starting." Hmm. "He was like a million others who want to do meaningful work: write a book, fight for those who are powerless, create a startup.... We put off doing this work because of deep uncertainty" (emphasis mine). Yeah, that sounds familiar. Babauta says, "The key is to open up to the deep uncertainty of meaningful work."

The third message, from Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism, is about solitude, which he defines as "a subjective state in which your mind is free from input from other minds." Solitude, it turns out, is necessary for creativity. No surprise.

Though not surprising, it's helpful to hear the following:

• "all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone,"
• "conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius"
• "solitude is a prerequisite for original and creative thought" (Newport, 95-97).

The permission to create is ours to give. We can choose to open up to uncertainty rather than close down. And we need solitude, time away from the input of other minds, in order to be creative. Not a bad trinity of messages to received. They're worth keeping in mind and even more worth to act upon.

Mostly here, I'm writing to remind myself.